I had never heard of collaborative law.
An old friend of mine Isabel Ilumin invited me to her husband’s event last week. It was a symposium on divorce and separation and what that means for all involved. At first Mike gave me looks and wondered why I was going to this event.
Isabel’s husband John is also a financial planner, and the event was held in conjunction with some guest speakers; a real estate broker, a collaborative lawyer, a family professional, and a mortgage specialist.
It was definitely a great night of learning! I don’t know about you but in my tender age of 49 I feel even more of a voracious appetite for learning! It makes me happy! Though the topic was definitely not a joyous one.
Firstly, did you know that over 40% of all marriages end in divorce? That’s a pretty staggering number if you ask me, but once I thought about it, I realized that some close family members and friends of mine are in fact divorced or separated, including my own biological parents. (Please remember to note the legal definitions of the two as when it comes to ownership and rights, there is a difference!)
About half of those divorces have dependent children involved. This is where collaborative law comes into play.
Collaborative law is the process of a separating couple, agreeing to negotiate their affairs outside of litigation and the courts. Each of them has their own collaborative lawyer, and everyone works together instead of against each other.
They also have a team around them such as a family professional/social worker. The main goal for this type of arrangement is to preserve the relationships and to garner a healthy co-parenting relationship. Wow!
This is definitely not what we see in Hollywood is it? Husband and a wife with their own lawyers battling it out in court and what ends up happening? The kids get affected, too much money gets spent on lawyers, and in the end nobody’s happy….
This was such a beautiful event as it definitely taught me that it is more important to preserve relationships as the parents will always be the parents even as the kids get older and have their own relationships. People seem to forget that the Hollywood battling couple will end up having to see each other time and time again in the future when their kids graduate from school, get married, have kids and grandchildren.
Family is so important and has always been something that I’ve held dear to my heart and have always wanted to ensure I nourish and support.
Friends come and go, and apparently spouses also come and go… But your kids will always be your kids and always remember that!
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